Everyone has a mask of some sort and everyone's masks seem to be different. It's funny to me how some people can see straight through others' masks and other people are oblivious. I think I realized I had one in 2001 when my close friend Brandon died... after 3-4 monthes everyone expected me to be ok again when in reality I was depressed - how do you make people still want to be around you when you feel that bad? Put on a mask. The one I found worked was the mask of happiness - since I'm generally a very happy go lucky person it made sense to put a mask on with the same characteristics when I was down so that people would not see the turmoil going on in my soul.
So when acquaintences ask "how's it goin?" or "How's your day?" do people always answer with the general "great and yours!" or "goin good and you?" as a mask that says you're just like everyone else cause those people don't want to hear what's going on anyway or you don't want to tell them? Or do most people answer on a bad day with "shitty. you?" And is it so obvious when a normally happy person that forgot or refused to wear the mask that morning goes out that everyone asks what's wrong? I know I'm rambling but.. oh well.
Where do you go when you live on a hilltop in a cubicle when you want to crawl into a corner and disappear? These last two weeks have been nuts. I have two projects, a mid term, a test, tons of reading, weekly homework, 2 papers with another assigned today, and a hypothesis due. I am swamped but I can't just sit and do homework all the time. I normally strive on stress too but now, today, well everything bad always hits at once right? Oh well! Give me a week and this craziness known as mid-term assessments will be finished and life will be back to normal!
College is wonderful - don't get me wrong - I absolutely love Southern. I enjoy my classes, I like my professors, I have met lots of new people (Can I mention that my favorite thing is that the guys open doors for you and always offer to help you carry stuff!), I've gone on a blind date to a sorority party that was a blast, I've gotten alot of closer girl-friends to hang out with, and there's always something to do. Yet even with all these things that I love I really miss my friends. Meredith makes my life so much easier and always having her to talk to is my strong hold when things are good or bad. Sean always can make me feel better about myself and put things into perspective for me. Jenn is always there to listen, argue, and make fun of me (alot :-)) Britt brightens up my day with pictures, notes, food, and is a great study buddy! I never thought I'd miss highschool but what I miss from highschool is the closeness and friendship that is gained from knowing people for long amounts of time.
So when acquaintences ask "how's it goin?" or "How's your day?" do people always answer with the general "great and yours!" or "goin good and you?" as a mask that says you're just like everyone else cause those people don't want to hear what's going on anyway or you don't want to tell them? Or do most people answer on a bad day with "shitty. you?" And is it so obvious when a normally happy person that forgot or refused to wear the mask that morning goes out that everyone asks what's wrong? I know I'm rambling but.. oh well.
Where do you go when you live on a hilltop in a cubicle when you want to crawl into a corner and disappear? These last two weeks have been nuts. I have two projects, a mid term, a test, tons of reading, weekly homework, 2 papers with another assigned today, and a hypothesis due. I am swamped but I can't just sit and do homework all the time. I normally strive on stress too but now, today, well everything bad always hits at once right? Oh well! Give me a week and this craziness known as mid-term assessments will be finished and life will be back to normal!
College is wonderful - don't get me wrong - I absolutely love Southern. I enjoy my classes, I like my professors, I have met lots of new people (Can I mention that my favorite thing is that the guys open doors for you and always offer to help you carry stuff!), I've gone on a blind date to a sorority party that was a blast, I've gotten alot of closer girl-friends to hang out with, and there's always something to do. Yet even with all these things that I love I really miss my friends. Meredith makes my life so much easier and always having her to talk to is my strong hold when things are good or bad. Sean always can make me feel better about myself and put things into perspective for me. Jenn is always there to listen, argue, and make fun of me (alot :-)) Britt brightens up my day with pictures, notes, food, and is a great study buddy! I never thought I'd miss highschool but what I miss from highschool is the closeness and friendship that is gained from knowing people for long amounts of time.
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