There were times when I didn’t have anything more taxing than playing with my Barbies all day.
And times when I battled by parents to go out with boys in groups smaller than six.
Days came and went when I lived at the church, giving up school friends for church ones and hanging out with the older crowd.
Brandon came and went, dividing my life into before B. died, and afterwards.
A year of masking my pain and depression.
A few boyfriends, later close friends, and then
Brooks.
I think the latent function of pain is growth. Growth of wisdom, character, dreams, and hopes. The dashing of the old and creation of the new. One learns from pain how to aid others. compassion. empathy. You learn what you didn’t want to know, yet years later that knowledge becomes invaluable.
Growth
The changing of dreams from becoming an actress to a doctor, a doctor to a lawyer. An English major.
The desire to be far from home, yet remaining close. Exchanging beaches for well known paths that diverge into unknown territory. New York. Abroad.
The times when you’re alone. The aching for old friends. The making of new ones. The relationships you can never imagine having lived without.
Learning people can remain close at heart, but reside far apart.
Time whisking away.
You spend years finding yourself, knowing yourself, being comfortable with yourself. Yearning for someone to share it all with. To hold, to know, to cherish, to give, to ultimately loose.
Life.
Caring. Loving. Striving. Giving. Suffering. Rejoicing.
And times when I battled by parents to go out with boys in groups smaller than six.
Days came and went when I lived at the church, giving up school friends for church ones and hanging out with the older crowd.
Brandon came and went, dividing my life into before B. died, and afterwards.
A year of masking my pain and depression.
A few boyfriends, later close friends, and then
Brooks.
I think the latent function of pain is growth. Growth of wisdom, character, dreams, and hopes. The dashing of the old and creation of the new. One learns from pain how to aid others. compassion. empathy. You learn what you didn’t want to know, yet years later that knowledge becomes invaluable.
Growth
The changing of dreams from becoming an actress to a doctor, a doctor to a lawyer. An English major.
The desire to be far from home, yet remaining close. Exchanging beaches for well known paths that diverge into unknown territory. New York. Abroad.
The times when you’re alone. The aching for old friends. The making of new ones. The relationships you can never imagine having lived without.
Learning people can remain close at heart, but reside far apart.
Time whisking away.
You spend years finding yourself, knowing yourself, being comfortable with yourself. Yearning for someone to share it all with. To hold, to know, to cherish, to give, to ultimately loose.
Life.
Caring. Loving. Striving. Giving. Suffering. Rejoicing.
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